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Wednesday, June 19, 2024

The 5 Stunning Issues I Love About My 40s

Is 40 actually the brand new 20? 

Okay perhaps not, however as I get able to have fun my forty sixth birthday this week, I contend that there IS positively an entire lot of life left after 40. 

In reality, I feel I’d even go as far as to say that is my favourite decade to date! 

And so in celebration of my birthday and hopefully growing old gracefully, I assumed at the moment I’d share just a few of my favourite issues about life in my 40s—the issues that truthfully have shocked me.

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 And whether or not you’re in your 40’s, 50’s, or past, I’ll be curious to know whether or not you agree.

So, with out additional ado–listed below are the 5 stunning issues I LOVE about being in my 40s.

I now not care what different folks consider me.

The primary large factor is that I’ve just about stopped giving a—nicely, we’ll say—crap about what anybody else thinks of me.

And that’s truly a fairly large deal.

And it’s not that I’ve ever thought-about myself a complete folks pleaser, however I feel all of us have a little bit bit—or perhaps quite a bit—of insecurity in relation to being round folks and particularly being round different girls. 

I’ve all the time been fairly pushed and fairly outspoken and in addition sharp and witty and sarcastic. I’m additionally only a pure chief.

However once I would get round different girls that perhaps weren’t fairly as pushed or outspoken, I’d attempt to tone it down. Principally I’d attempt to mood my persona to suit the social state of affairs, I feel as a result of I used to be typically afraid to be absolutely ME.

I fearful about becoming in and never offending folks.

And truthfully I feel that concern or that fear even translated to how I confirmed up in my enterprise. For a very long time, truthfully for years, I felt like I needed to maintain part of me again. I used to be afraid to talk my thoughts or get too controversial or to say something which may offend somebody.

In reality, I feel for a very long time that was why I struggled a lot with social media. I by no means knew what to say as a result of I didn’t actually really feel like I might absolutely be myself. What if I used to be an excessive amount of?

And I don’t actually really feel like I try this anymore.

As I’ve gotten older, I feel truthfully I’ve stopped caring a lot about different folks’s opinions and what they consider me. I’m a lot extra keen now than I ever have been to simply let the chips fall the place they might.

I’m not for everybody, and that’s okay.

And let me let you know…it feels SO GOOD. I do know who I’m and what I like and don’t like, and I don’t really feel like I’ve bought to show myself or change myself to slot in or be accepted. 

In order that’s the primary large factor that’s actually shocked me about getting older—I’ve lastly stopped caring a lot about what different folks suppose.

I’m far more assured in my very own pores and skin.

The second large factor that has shocked me about getting older is that I’m far more assured in my very own pores and skin than I’ve ever been earlier than.

And it’s kind-of odd once I give it some thought, as a result of once I look again at images of myself at 20 or 25, I used to be so cute and tan and skinny and but SO insecure about myself and my physique.

And sure, shedding 40 kilos positively helped me really feel much more assured, however my 45 12 months outdated physique nonetheless seems like a forty five 12 months outdated physique.

I’ve bought varicose veins and cellulite and stretch marks. On daily basis I discover just a few extra grey hairs. I’ve wrinkles and age spots and snicker traces and boobs which can be beginning to sag just a bit.

However these issues truthfully don’t hassle me.

I like my physique proper now, simply the best way it’s, and after scuffling with my weight for therefore lengthy, it kinda feels wonderful to be at this level.

I dance round bare for my husband, which I NEVER would have executed earlier than, and inform him day by day how fortunate he’s to have such a sizzling spouse.

And once more, objectively I don’t suppose it’s as a result of I’m truly hotter now than once we first met, however my CONFIDENCE is what has made me extra enticing.

I feel perhaps it’s as a result of as you grow old, you achieve knowledge and perspective, and also you begin to understand that your flaws and scars are simply a part of who you might be.

They’re a part of your story and so they’re what makes you distinctive and fascinating.

However that’s the second large factor that has shocked me—how far more assured I’m in my very own pores and skin.

My children are a lot extra self-sufficient

The third factor that has shocked me is how a lot I like this subsequent section of parenting, the place my children are older and extra impartial and self-sufficient.

And whereas youngsters—particularly teenage GIRLS—positively have their moments, this stage of parenting has truly been much more enjoyable than I assumed it might be.

I all the time thought it might make me unhappy to observe my children develop up, however truthfully it doesn’t make me unhappy. It’s been so enjoyable to observe my ladies develop into turning into their very own folks. 

They’re nonetheless at residence for just a few extra years, however now they’re driving themselves locations and taking duty for their very own homework and don’t require a babysitter once we wish to exit—and even when my husband and I wish to go away for the weekend.

And that’s truly an enormous deal as a result of dwelling right here in Florida, we by no means actually had any household round whereas we have been elevating our children, and good babysitters are onerous to seek out. 

I keep in mind so a few years after they have been youthful the place we felt overwhelmed by the neediness. And now I’ve workers who’ve younger children and it makes me keep in mind simply how exhausting that section of life is, and I don’t actually miss it.

And don’t get me improper, I truly LOVE children and I’m SO excited for grandkids in just a few years, as a result of I’m going to be SUCH a kick-ass grandma, however I’m additionally not unhappy that in only a couple extra years my husband and I will likely be empty nesters and we get to observe our children go navigate the world on their very own.

In order that’s the third factor that has shocked me—how a lot I like having self-sufficient children.

I’ve approach extra enjoyable.

The fourth factor that has DEFINITELY shocked me is that I’m having WAY extra enjoyable in my 40s than I ever did in my 20’s or 30s.

And perhaps this is because of the truth that my children are far more impartial, or perhaps it’s as a result of I’m extra assured and comfy in my very own pores and skin, however I additionally suppose it’s as a result of in my 20’s and 30’s I used to be extra centered on getting married and beginning a household after which rising my enterprise.

However I’ve by no means had extra enjoyable than I’m having now, at this section in my life.

I feel a part of it’s that I simply don’t take myself as significantly as I used to. Once more, perhaps that’s the rise in confidence or simply being much more keen to be myself and never feeling like I have to impress anybody.

However I feel a giant a part of it is also that over the previous couple of years, my husband and I’ve gotten much more intentional about making a shared imaginative and prescient for our life collectively, and for what we would like our life to seem like.

And that positively wasn’t all the time the case. We weren’t all the time completely on the identical web page. I used to be tremendous busy making an attempt to develop my enterprise and do all of the issues and be all of the locations. I had my very own objectives, however they weren’t actually shared objectives. And that generally put us at odds.

If I’m being trustworthy, generally it felt like we have been dwelling totally different lives.

However throughout COVID quite a lot of that modified.

I all of the sudden stopped touring and I used to be residence on a regular basis, and we began doing much more issues collectively. We reconnected as a pair and we additionally began making extra native mates in our personal neighborhood. We additionally discovered a brand new church and started rising spiritually collectively as nicely.

And we began having extra conversations about we truly needed for our life collectively.

And perhaps it has nothing to do with covid, perhaps it’s only a pure factor that occurs as your children grow old and get nearer to depart the nest, and you must come to grips with the truth that in some unspecified time in the future it’s going to be simply the 2 of you, and also you’ve both bought to be in it for the lengthy haul otherwise you’ve bought to go your separate methods.

For us, it was determining the right way to create a shared imaginative and prescient for our life.

So we truly wrote all of it out—what we would like our life to seem like. We realized that we would like a house the place folks can collect—a spot the place everybody feels welcome.

And we additionally realized that this imaginative and prescient didn’t need to be one thing we waited for. We might begin inviting folks to assemble straight away.

And so we do. On a regular basis. Even when our life is loopy making an attempt to maintain up with our children’ sports activities schedules and work and all the home tasks we’ve got occurring.

We don’t fear if our home is tidy, or if every thing seems good. We don’t fear if every thing is all pulled collectively and delightful. Usually it’s not. In reality normally it’s not.

Don’t get me improper, I like planning a great get together, however I don’t WAIT till every thing is ideal to ask folks in. Truthfully today we’re normally a complete shitshow and our home is a catastrophe.

However there’s not often a weekend the place we don’t invite folks over, or the place we’re not gathering with mates, even when it’s simply to have a bonfire within the again discipline or play pool in our yet-to-be-renovated sport room.

As a result of what I’ve realized at this stage of life is that nobody cares how good it’s.

After I was youthful I’d get so caught up within the particulars that I’d neglect that the entire level of gathering is to CONNECT.

And in order that’s what we do. And it’s quite a lot of enjoyable.

In order that’s the fourth shock.

I’m far more conscious of my very own mortality.

The fifth shock is simply how far more conscious I’m of my very own mortality.

And perhaps this doesn’t sound like a great factor, however I truly suppose it’s. So hear me out. 

It’s not like I’m always fearful about dying or something, it’s extra that I’ve a palpable consciousness of the fragility of life and the preciousness of time.

I feel while you’re youthful, you suppose you could have on a regular basis on this planet. You set issues off since you assume there’ll all the time be a tomorrow or subsequent week or subsequent month.

However as I’ve gotten older, I’ve seen that tomorrow isn’t assured. And so in a normal sense, I feel it’s made me extra intentional about how I spend my time, who I spend it with, and what I’m doing with my life.

I don’t suppose I take almost as a lot with no consideration anymore—whether or not it’s my well being, my household, my mates, or simply the little moments all through the day—as a result of I do know that it might all be gone in a heartbeat. 

I don’t wish to have any regrets. I wish to dwell absolutely and take advantage of day by day that I’ve.

So I’m extra keen to take dangers, to strive new issues, and to not let concern maintain me again.

As a result of on the finish of the day, what’s the worst that may occur? All of us die finally anyhow. May as nicely take advantage of the time we’ve got.

And that’s been a stunning and liberating mindset to have. It has helped me let go of perfectionism and comparability, and simply deal with dwelling my life in a significant approach.

So whereas there could also be extra wrinkles and grey hairs than I’d like, getting older has additionally introduced some surprising joys and classes. And I’m excited to see what else this subsequent section of life has in retailer. It doesn’t matter what, I’m positive will probably be one wild and loopy experience. 

In order that’s my record—the 5 stunning issues I like about being in my 40s! 

And I’m positive you may relate to some, if not all of them, however truthfully I’d love to listen to again from you on this! Do you’re keen on this midlife section of life too, whether or not it’s your 40’s, 50’s or past? 

If that’s the case WHY? 

Go away a remark under and let me know what you suppose!

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